03 November 2024
SCRIPTURAL APPLICATION: Ephesians 5:22-33
Husbands and Wives/Christ and the Church
SERMON REVIEW:
Ephesians 5:21 – “… submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ”
The Illustration of Christ
His Position - Head of the Church vs. 23
His Adoration – Self-sacrificing love vs. vs. 23; 25
His Attention – Cherishes the Church vs. 29
The Imitation of the Husband
His Position - Head of the wife vs. 23
His Adoration – Self-sacrificing Love vs. 23; 25; 26
His Attention – Cherishes his wife vs. 28; 29
The Submission of the Wife
Her Surrender – Husbands headship vs 22; 23
Her “own” Man – Two become one! Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8-10
The Mystery of it all! – vs. 32
QUESTIONS:
Life Application:
Two rivers may flow smoothly before they merge; but when they flow together, they often become tumultuous. Each river has its own current which collides with the current of the other river. This creates powerful undercurrents and spectacular rapids. As the rivers flow downstream, the collision of currents subsides, and the new river emerges—broader, deeper, more powerful.
So it is with good marriages. The forming of any new union may have rough water at first, but as the currents of life merge, the two become broader, deeper, and more powerful. The two truly become one. As the husband and wife imitate God, he blesses their lives with godly unity. As the two become closer to him, they become closer to one another.[1]
Digging Deeper:
Submission (vv. 22–24)
The word for submit, is hupotasso. It means “to place under,” “to subordinate,” or “to submit.” It is a word that today’s society finds unpleasant. It is not an easy word to talk about, but when fully understood, it is not an odious word. Building it into the fabric of both the home and society is essential.
Hupotasso does not mean inferiority in any way. Both the husband and wife are created in the image of God (Gen. 1:27). The wife is to be in submission to the husband. The husband is to be in submission to Christ. To do so is to reflect the relationship between Jesus and the Father in the Trinity. Christ is in submission to God the Father. So you cannot attribute inferiority to the wife for being in submission to the husband unless you are also prepared to attribute inferiority to Christ for being in submission to God the Father. It is not a matter of worth, intelligence, talent, or anything else. It is simply a structure God has established, a structure in which he has also placed himself. Jesus is in submission to the Father.
The woman is to submit to her husband “as to the Lord.” The woman serves the Lord by submitting to her husband. Because of the imperfect and sin-flawed world in which we live, some circumstances may arise in which the wife would not submit to her husband. This statement derives from a biblical principle concerning another matter. In 1 Peter 2:13–17, we read that we are to obey the government. It is very clear. Yet, in Acts 5:29, the rulers command this same Peter to stop preaching the gospel; and Peter’s response is, “We must obey God rather than men!” The principle we can glean from these two passages then is that we are to obey government up to the point that to do so would cause clear disobedience to God. At that point, obedience to God supersedes.
That being the case, it seems a parallel situation in which wives are commanded to be in submission to their husbands. If we are not to obey government to the point of sinning against God, then it would be consistent that wives are not to obey their husbands if it meant sinning against God. If the husband commands the wife to do something immoral, she is not obligated. If he asks her to swap partners after a party or to watch or participate in something sexually immoral, she is not obligated. If he asks her to rob a bank or hurt someone, she is not obligated. If he asks her to do anything that violates God’s will, she is not obligated to obey him.
Nor does submission mean that the wife manifests unquestioned acceptance of everything the husband does. In 1 Peter 3:1–7, Peter seems to describe some of the things he means by submission:
• chaste and respectful behavior
• gentle and quiet spirit
• obedience, but not in sinful things
• proper perspective: harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kind-hearted, humble in spirit, not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead.
If a wife exhibits chaste and respectful behavior, a gentle and quiet spirit, a general attitude of submission, and a kind heart, she might disagree with her husband and go to appropriate lengths to try to persuade her husband of her point of view without violating the spirit of this principle. The wise husband would do well to heed carefully such attempts.
Attitude (vv. 31–33)
Conflict in husband and wife relationships is legendary. It has been going on ever since Adam and Eve baked their first apple pie. A certain amount of it is inevitable. Billy Graham is fond of saying, tongue in cheek, that in a husband-wife relationship, if two people agree on absolutely everything, one of them isn’t necessary.
We’ve all smiled at the story of Winston Churchill and Nancy Astor, the American-born wife of Waldorf Viscount Astor. She visited Blenheim Palace, the ancestral home of the Churchill family. In conversation with Churchill, she expounded on the subject of women’s rights, an issue that was to take her into the House of Commons as the first woman member of Parliament. Churchill opposed her on this and other causes that she held dear. In some exasperation, Lady Astor said, “Winston, if I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill responded, “And if you were my wife, I would drink it.”
Yet conflict is not the measure of a marriage. Love is. We may have fun looking at the foibles of married couples; still we recognize marriage’s serious side. The quality of a married person’s life is usually measured by the quality of his marriage. If he has a good marriage, he will say he had a good life. If he had a bad marriage, he will say he had a bad life.
A good or bad marriage usually boils down, in the end, to attitude. Certainly, specific problems must be dealt with, but the success in dealing with problems usually is traced back to how badly the couple wanted to solve them.
The story is told that in England in 1840, shortly after Queen Victoria married Prince Albert, they quarreled. Albert stalked out of the room and locked himself in his private apartment. Victoria hammered furiously upon the door. From the other side of the door came, “Who’s there?” “The queen of England, and she demands to be admitted!” was the loud reply. No response. The door remained locked. Victoria hammered at the door again. “Who’s there?” The reply was still, “The queen of England.” No response. More fruitless and furious knocking was followed by a pause. Then a gentle tap. “Who’s there?” The queen replied, “Your wife, Albert.” The prince at once opened the door.
Attitude! It is the basis of everything. If two people have the right attitude toward a marriage, there is nothing they cannot work out by the grace of God.[2]
Discussion Questions:
1. Should both husband and wife imitate Christ in their marriage?
2. Why would unselfishness be an essential part of a Christian marriage?
3. What should a Christian wife do to care for and help her husband flourish?
4. What should a Christian husband do to care for and help his wife flourish?
5. In what way would imitating Christ in marriage lead to oneness, unity, love and respect with one another? In what way does Paul’s vision of Christ and the church from Ephesians 4:15-16 inform his view of marriage?
What is one thing that requires you to take responsibility to love, honor and respect your spouse that stands apart from what he or she is or is not doing?
PRAYER:
[1] Max Anders, Galatians-Colossians, vol. 8, Holman New Testament Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1999), 175.
[2] Max Anders, Galatians-Colossians, vol. 8, Holman New Testament Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1999), 181–183.
Husbands and Wives/Christ and the Church
SERMON REVIEW:
Ephesians 5:21 – “… submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ”
The Illustration of Christ
His Position - Head of the Church vs. 23
His Adoration – Self-sacrificing love vs. vs. 23; 25
His Attention – Cherishes the Church vs. 29
The Imitation of the Husband
His Position - Head of the wife vs. 23
His Adoration – Self-sacrificing Love vs. 23; 25; 26
His Attention – Cherishes his wife vs. 28; 29
The Submission of the Wife
Her Surrender – Husbands headship vs 22; 23
Her “own” Man – Two become one! Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8-10
The Mystery of it all! – vs. 32
QUESTIONS:
- What did the message teach me about God/Jesus/Holy Spirit?
- What did the message teach me about the human condition?
- Is there anything I need to confess, repent, or be grateful for, because of this passage?
- How do I need help in believing and applying this scripture to my life?
- How can I encourage others with this passage?
Life Application:
Two rivers may flow smoothly before they merge; but when they flow together, they often become tumultuous. Each river has its own current which collides with the current of the other river. This creates powerful undercurrents and spectacular rapids. As the rivers flow downstream, the collision of currents subsides, and the new river emerges—broader, deeper, more powerful.
So it is with good marriages. The forming of any new union may have rough water at first, but as the currents of life merge, the two become broader, deeper, and more powerful. The two truly become one. As the husband and wife imitate God, he blesses their lives with godly unity. As the two become closer to him, they become closer to one another.[1]
Digging Deeper:
Submission (vv. 22–24)
The word for submit, is hupotasso. It means “to place under,” “to subordinate,” or “to submit.” It is a word that today’s society finds unpleasant. It is not an easy word to talk about, but when fully understood, it is not an odious word. Building it into the fabric of both the home and society is essential.
Hupotasso does not mean inferiority in any way. Both the husband and wife are created in the image of God (Gen. 1:27). The wife is to be in submission to the husband. The husband is to be in submission to Christ. To do so is to reflect the relationship between Jesus and the Father in the Trinity. Christ is in submission to God the Father. So you cannot attribute inferiority to the wife for being in submission to the husband unless you are also prepared to attribute inferiority to Christ for being in submission to God the Father. It is not a matter of worth, intelligence, talent, or anything else. It is simply a structure God has established, a structure in which he has also placed himself. Jesus is in submission to the Father.
The woman is to submit to her husband “as to the Lord.” The woman serves the Lord by submitting to her husband. Because of the imperfect and sin-flawed world in which we live, some circumstances may arise in which the wife would not submit to her husband. This statement derives from a biblical principle concerning another matter. In 1 Peter 2:13–17, we read that we are to obey the government. It is very clear. Yet, in Acts 5:29, the rulers command this same Peter to stop preaching the gospel; and Peter’s response is, “We must obey God rather than men!” The principle we can glean from these two passages then is that we are to obey government up to the point that to do so would cause clear disobedience to God. At that point, obedience to God supersedes.
That being the case, it seems a parallel situation in which wives are commanded to be in submission to their husbands. If we are not to obey government to the point of sinning against God, then it would be consistent that wives are not to obey their husbands if it meant sinning against God. If the husband commands the wife to do something immoral, she is not obligated. If he asks her to swap partners after a party or to watch or participate in something sexually immoral, she is not obligated. If he asks her to rob a bank or hurt someone, she is not obligated. If he asks her to do anything that violates God’s will, she is not obligated to obey him.
Nor does submission mean that the wife manifests unquestioned acceptance of everything the husband does. In 1 Peter 3:1–7, Peter seems to describe some of the things he means by submission:
• chaste and respectful behavior
• gentle and quiet spirit
• obedience, but not in sinful things
• proper perspective: harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kind-hearted, humble in spirit, not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead.
If a wife exhibits chaste and respectful behavior, a gentle and quiet spirit, a general attitude of submission, and a kind heart, she might disagree with her husband and go to appropriate lengths to try to persuade her husband of her point of view without violating the spirit of this principle. The wise husband would do well to heed carefully such attempts.
Attitude (vv. 31–33)
Conflict in husband and wife relationships is legendary. It has been going on ever since Adam and Eve baked their first apple pie. A certain amount of it is inevitable. Billy Graham is fond of saying, tongue in cheek, that in a husband-wife relationship, if two people agree on absolutely everything, one of them isn’t necessary.
We’ve all smiled at the story of Winston Churchill and Nancy Astor, the American-born wife of Waldorf Viscount Astor. She visited Blenheim Palace, the ancestral home of the Churchill family. In conversation with Churchill, she expounded on the subject of women’s rights, an issue that was to take her into the House of Commons as the first woman member of Parliament. Churchill opposed her on this and other causes that she held dear. In some exasperation, Lady Astor said, “Winston, if I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill responded, “And if you were my wife, I would drink it.”
Yet conflict is not the measure of a marriage. Love is. We may have fun looking at the foibles of married couples; still we recognize marriage’s serious side. The quality of a married person’s life is usually measured by the quality of his marriage. If he has a good marriage, he will say he had a good life. If he had a bad marriage, he will say he had a bad life.
A good or bad marriage usually boils down, in the end, to attitude. Certainly, specific problems must be dealt with, but the success in dealing with problems usually is traced back to how badly the couple wanted to solve them.
The story is told that in England in 1840, shortly after Queen Victoria married Prince Albert, they quarreled. Albert stalked out of the room and locked himself in his private apartment. Victoria hammered furiously upon the door. From the other side of the door came, “Who’s there?” “The queen of England, and she demands to be admitted!” was the loud reply. No response. The door remained locked. Victoria hammered at the door again. “Who’s there?” The reply was still, “The queen of England.” No response. More fruitless and furious knocking was followed by a pause. Then a gentle tap. “Who’s there?” The queen replied, “Your wife, Albert.” The prince at once opened the door.
Attitude! It is the basis of everything. If two people have the right attitude toward a marriage, there is nothing they cannot work out by the grace of God.[2]
Discussion Questions:
1. Should both husband and wife imitate Christ in their marriage?
2. Why would unselfishness be an essential part of a Christian marriage?
3. What should a Christian wife do to care for and help her husband flourish?
4. What should a Christian husband do to care for and help his wife flourish?
5. In what way would imitating Christ in marriage lead to oneness, unity, love and respect with one another? In what way does Paul’s vision of Christ and the church from Ephesians 4:15-16 inform his view of marriage?
What is one thing that requires you to take responsibility to love, honor and respect your spouse that stands apart from what he or she is or is not doing?
PRAYER:
[1] Max Anders, Galatians-Colossians, vol. 8, Holman New Testament Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1999), 175.
[2] Max Anders, Galatians-Colossians, vol. 8, Holman New Testament Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1999), 181–183.